Ask The Characters: Saw
by Letters To Her
Summary: I asked some of my Saw friends to give me questions they would like to ask the characters of Saw. Completed for now.
1. Chapter 1

Ask The Cast: Saw

"Hello, Mr. Faulkner, Dr. Gordon, Mrs. Tuck, Mr. Kramer, Mr. Hoffman and Ms. Young" The host said, walking on stage.

"Uh...hi." Adam responds.

"Well, today we are going to ask you guys questions, as submitted by a group of dashing young humans." The host said, smiling at the camera.

"Ya know, I heard there was gonna be free food, where is IT?" Adam says.

"Jesus Adam, what is it with you and food?" Amanda asks.

"Well, you should know bitch! You left me to die of starvation!" Adam spat.

"You're here, aren't you?" John added.

"Odd...but true. I retract my statement."

Amanda just rolls her eyes.

"Okay..moving on." The host says, looking at the camera.

"Sabrina asks...Is Lawrence dating Adam?"

"Why do people anyways think we're gay? What do people think? "Oh um gee two men get locked in a bathroom, they'd make a really good couple?" Lawrence said, face palming.

"Tell me about it? Did we show any hint of attraction? Did I keep staring at Lawrence's dick? Like what the fuck.." Adam said.

"So that's...a no?" The host asked.

"What do you think?" Lawrence spat.

"Okay...so Sabrina, that's a no."

"Next question, this question is from Adam and it's for Adam" The host added.

"The question is, would you ever date Amanda?"

"You mean to tell me to go out with a bitch who left for me dead! Fuck no. I do like her hair though." Adam replied.

"Wow Adam, you sure know how to make a girl feel special." Amanda says, mock sighing.

"In Adam's defence, Amanda you slept above him. You went to bed knowing that a man was _dying_, and that you could've done something." Jill added.

"There was no extra key." Amanda responded.

"BULLSHIT!" Adam leaped across the stage and tackled Amanda. The others don't bother to help, but instead watching in awe.

Amanda and Adam walk back on stage while growling at each other.

"No wonder your girlfriend left you." Amanda scowled.

"Whatever. You and Gwen (His punk vegan feminist girlfriend) can burn hell for all I care." Adam spat back.

"Okay! Enough! On with the questions. Max has a question for Mark. The question is: Would you have sex with Lawrence for a million dollars?" The host said, clearly agitated.

"Well..." Hoffman stuttered.

"WHAT THE FUCK...I'M LEAVING." Lawrence said, getting up out of his seat.

"C'mon Larry! You left me once, don't leave me again!" Adam pleaded.

"Fine. But no more gay questions." Lawrence said, haphazardly sitting back in his chair.

"You homophobic bro?" Hoffman asked, offended.

"What? Of course not. I'm just upset that everyone thinks I'm gay. Are you gay, Hoffman?" Lawrence said, crossing his arms.

"What? Me? Gay? No way." Hoffman said, uncomfortably shifting his feet.

"Mark, is there something you want to tell us?" John asked, lifting his hood from his head.

"No! I'm not gay!" Hoffman spat.

"ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!" The host said, extremely impatient.

"Okay, *takes deep breath* This question is from a fellow named Jack. He asks Lawrence why you cheated on your wife." The host said.

"Because...well..you..see..." Lawrence was lost for words.

"Yeah, Lawrence? Why? Your wife is totally hot. You should focusing on tappin dat ass, not some Asian chick half your age." Adam asked Lawrence.

"Yeah..okay. Host! Next question!" Lawrence said, quickly changing the question.

"Okay. This question is from Lily. She asks Jill why she divorced John."

"Well, I didn't want too, but after I lost Gideon, John got really depressed and he started his 'games' and it was just too much. I didn't plan to start a new family with someone else, but John was going bat shit crazy" Jill responded.

"I was not going bat shit crazy! I taught people the way of life! Besides, Psycho's murder people! I do not murder people! Murder is distasteful." John replied, throwing his hands in the air.

"Well you could still get charged with abduction, and possibly indirect murder." Adam said.

"Well, if that's the price I have to pay for showing people how to make use of their life, then so be it!" John said in his defence.

Adam spoke up. "Look, but c'mon Jigsaw. You are the one who's wasting their life. When people find out they have a limited time to live, they don't waste their lives trying to help people through a series of random death traps, they enjoy the rest of their life. They go to Italy, they learn a new language, they get shitfaced. You're the one wasting your life John. Not us."

"That was a very nice speech Adam, I didn't know you were so...soulful" Amanda said while clapping.

"Fuck you, junkie bitch." Adam spat.

"Well that's the last time I ever give you a compliment." Amanda growled.

The host looked content when she checked her watch. "We'll, we're out of time. Goodbye"

"This fanfic sucked. Way to overuse the term spat." Lawrence said.

"I know right!" John added.

(A/N: So I asked a few of my Saw friends questions what they would ask the characters if they could. Completed for now. If you want more review with questions you would like to ask any Saw character. Have a good day ❤!)


	2. Chapter 2

Ask The Cast: Saw II

(A/N: Chapter 2! :D Big thanks to VPSweetJ14 for reviewing. Hints of Amanda and Adam. You know the drill, reviews with questions = more chapters)

* * *

A host, different from the first, walked on the stage to see the same people, plus some new faces.

"Well, hello everybody." The host said, smiling at the camera.

"Today, we have 3 questions submitted by VPSweetJ14. The first is for John." The host said, getting straight to the point.

"The question is: "Can I borrow ALL your traps? :D It's for a good cause!"

"Well. I don't see why not. After all I'm done with my lessons. As long as they're not used as instruments of murder. Go ahead." John replied, once again removing his signature inverted robe hood from his head.

"MURDERRRRRREREEEERRRRR!" Adam shouted.

"May I present Adam. Sassy as a black woman on the news." Amanda said, in monotone.

"GURRLL, YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT." Adam snapped.

"Where da free food at at?" Adam asked.

"Jesus Adam. What is it with you and free food?" Amanda asked, facepalming.

"Didn't I say this before? You locked me in a bathroom TO DIE. OF STARVATION." Adam spat.

"Look. I said I was SORRY. Plus I gave you a mercy killing." Amanda responded, her tone annoyed.

"YOU THINK FUCKING SAYING THAT YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY WILL FUCKING MAKE UP FOR THE FUCKING FACT THAT YOU FUCKING LEFT ME FOR FUCKING DEAD. FUCK!" Adam was furious.

"Adam. Easy on the swearing." Lawrence said, calming Adam down.

"Moving on... The next question is for Amanda. The question is: "Why u had to die? D: And hi :D." The host said, her patience growing thin.

"Well hello to you too. :D. And why'd I have to die? Ask Jeffy boy over here." Amanda said, slight annoyed remembering the fact that she died.

"You shot my fucking wife. I had a gun. What do you think I was going to die. Say thank you?" Jeff spat.

"She was a cheating whore!" Amanda spat back.

"Well I wasn't getting much. Because Jeff went bat shit psycho when our son died, he became distant. So I met a dude on Craigslist and shit happened. Besides I broke it off." Lynn added, surprisingly very calm.

"Oh and Amanda?" Jeff asked, nicely.

"What?" Amanda asked, annoyed.

"We all know why you gave Adam a mercy killing." Jeff said, smirking.

Amanda sat silent.

Jeff looked at camera. "She met up with Adam at the concert, and fucked him in the restroom."

"What?" John said, surprised.

"That was you?" Adam asked, surprised as well.

"Amanda, what have I told you about having intimate relationships with the test subject?" John asked, annoyed.

"Well it wasn't intimate." Jill piped up.

"John. It was a one time thing." Amanda said, sincere.

"Well, how was I?" Adam asked, dead serious.

"How were you what?" Amanda asked, confused.

"Well? Was I any good?"

"Um, I guess."

"Okay."

"Well, that was weird." Lawrence added.

"Ditto, anyway, the next and final question is for Mark. The question is: U gay?"

"NO." Hoffman asked, flipping the small coffee table in front of him.

"Hoffman, it's okay to be gay." John said, sympathetically.

"Well...Lawrence is sooooooo sexah. That voice makes me just wanna-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there." The host said, slightly grossed out.

**Lawrence's face:** O.o

"Well, that's all for now! But before we leave, I want to say something." The host said, sitting in the extra seat.

"I think Amanda and Adam make a good couple. They're both very emotionally disturbed, they both have anger towards the world, Adam takes it out on other people using his sarcasm, and Amanda takes it out on herself by cutting."

Everyone just stays silent.

" .Me." Adam added coldly, looking at Amanda.

"DIE BIACTHHHHHHHHH!" Adam leaped across the stage and tackled Amanda.

"You cheated on me, bitch!" Jeff took out his gun from the purple robe and attempted to shoot Lynn, but instead shot John, which made Lynn's collar go off, killing her instantly.

"NOOOOO! I TAKE IT BACK!" Jeff said, as he put the pistol in his mouth, and pulled the trigger.

"DAMNNN U SEXAH!' Hoffman proclaimed his love for Lawrence and trampled him, trying to get his pants off.

"RAPE! RAPE!" Lawrence yelled, unsuccessfully attempting to pry Hoffman's fingers off his belt.

Jill watches in awe, then decides to join the crazy party by taking off her clothes and dancing on the coffee table.

The host watches as the 8 people erupt in chaos.

"Fuck this." The host said, throwing her cue cards on the floor and leaving.


End file.
